A few days ago I felt very emotional. I didn’t know at first where all the feelings came from.
As I allowed the feelings and thoughts to arise I realized that all these negative thoughts and ego I have been working so hard on releasing kept on coming back.
I realized that the negative thinking I’ve been letting go of run deep, very deep.
I realized I’ve been doing all the inner work I thought would bring change, but never looked at the root cause of it all.
I never looked at when this negative programming, these negative thoughts and seeds were planted in my unconscious.
It’s like pulling out the weeds, but never pulling out the roots hidden underground.
I realized that I cannot change anything without going back and see where the roots come from.
The weeds will just keep on growing back, over and over until I delve deep, do the work, and pull out all the roots.
Some roots might run very deep and take a bit more work to get them out.
So I had to go way back and remember when I started having all these negative thoughts.
When did I felt unworthy, not good enough and felt like I didn’t belong.
The moment I realized where it all came from and allowed myself to feel it all. I cried and cried and cried some more.
Weeping for the little girl I was back then.
Weeping because she had to go through all these years thinking she is not good enough, not feeling worthy, not believing in herself.
Never realizing her potential.
But I am grateful to be able to change it now. To not repeat the same pattern over and over.
To get to realize how many weeds are growing, and being able to pull them out now.
To no longer water the weeds, but to pull them out. All of them.
Any darkness, or negativity first need to be acknowledged and be seen before it can be healed or changed.
We cannot hide, ignore or pretend its not there. The truth always comes out, always.
When we get hurt its best to deal with the feelings, emotions or whatever it is we need to deal with, right then and there.
Acknowledge it, feel it, allow it, heal it, change your thoughts and feelings about it. Bring it into the light, to see it from a positive angle. And let it go.
Otherwise, if we just ignore it, the weeds just grow more and more until it gets a lot harder to pull out.
So get down your knees.
Get your hands dirty and pull out the weeds.
Pull out all the unwanted roots.
Go deep and find them all.
The flowers cannot grow in a garden filled with weeds.
Prepare the soil before you plant the seeds you want to grow.
“Before planting goods seeds, go deep and pull out all the unwanted weeds.”
With love and healing